So this whole Keaton Jones thing has had me thinking a lot recently. Mainly because it’s been an up and down roller-coaster of a journey with different things coming out each day. But I won’t comment too much on that anymore because we all know where I stand on bullying. All I want to say in regards to the issue is that if Kimberly Jones has created some elaborate hoax or scheme to get gifts and money then there’s a special place in hell for people like her.
But, and keeping with a similar theme, I want to lay my motivations on the table. Think of this as the end hand of Poker and for a long time you’ve been wondering why I’ve been making the moves I’ve been making and doing the things I’ve been doing. Now this is the moment I lay down my cards and tell you.
I do what I do in the hopes that somebody will give me an opportunity. In an earlier post, If Merle Would Sing My Song, I mention how easy it is for one person to change your life. And so I write and record in the hopes that somebody somewhere will want to help me change my life. I’ve reached a stage where I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t do it on my own and I’m struggling, and so every time I write, publish and/or share, it’s more of a cry for help. I am drowning in the sea and I don’t know what to do anymore, do you call somebody selfish if they ask you to throw them a Lifebuoy to stop them drowning?
But, and here is where I think I differ from the alleged reasons of Kimberly Jones, I don’t want money. I don’t want 55k put into a GoFundMe account in my name. That’s not what I ask at all.
I ask for an opportunity. I ask for a celebrity to share my work because they have a larger following than I do. The doors that can open is huge. I ask for help improving my job opportunities; internships or work experience. I ask for practical life help.
Unashamedly I once wrote to Ellen Degeneres. I could have fabricated any sort of elaborate lie and gone along with it for attention and money and adoration. The fact is that I didn’t. I simply wrote and asked her to consider me for an internship or work experience because that was what I needed at the time and it would have boosted my career prospects monumentally.
I did the same when I tried to contact some YouTubers for interviews. I wanted to get some interview experience and so I got in contact with them. This wouldn’t have been easy for me, it could have meant long drives and stays in hotels, meeting new people and stepping out of my comfort zone, but it was something I was willing to do for the experience and because it meant so damn much to me. As we can guess I heard nothing back, but it didn’t stop me trying.
Why? Well because I truly believe I’ve done as much as I can do on my own. I haven’t made the connections most people make during their teenage years and University days. I don’t have friends in high places that I can call up for favours. It would be great if I could phone up a radio station and say “Hey, remember that time I did work experience for you? Got any work going?” But I can’t. The only work experience I have is two weeks working in a bank, a week working in a shipping company, a month working overseas in Canada (in a castle) and three years of retail.
You see when I was growing up everything was academic. I wasn’t sporty, I wasn’t social and so my way in life was through academics and education. It sucks that we’ve reached a point in life where education barely gets you anywhere anymore and it’s considerably more in favour of practical experience, something that my mental health has prevented me from getting a lot of the time.
This is why viral videos actually hurt me so much and cause me anguish. It is other people getting opportunities that I am trying so hard for. I don’t want to be viral, I just want the opportunity. I saw Calum McSwiggan doing a radio show or interview the other day and I got jealous because he’s been given an opportunity that I wish I had. Why? Did he study journalism to a University degree level? I don’t know but his videos have helped garner him the connections and experience he needs to do what he wants.
And so, now I’m being a bit more clear about things, this is my way of asking for help.